BRIII's Rendition.

Second Chances.

Wed, 17 Mar 2010 14:28:34 -0400

Have I given up on humanity? Have I truly come to believe that all people are bad? My faith in people has been tested over and over again. A text from you here and there, seeing you have something I’ve given you, waiting for you to come back into my life. Truth is, I can’t help but believe these people are good. I can’t help but hope for a better tomorrow for them cause I feel that’s just what my heart tells me. Is it wrong to excuse the deeds these people have done? Is it wrong to think that people will always have a dark side, but I’ve learned to look at the light? I love them. I can’t help but love them for their flaws, their weaknesses, their strengths, and their worlds. I can’t help but hold them dear to my heart. Is it wrong that I can’t let go? Is it wrong for me to believe that they are going to change? Everyone deserves a new tomorrow despite what they’ve done. Believe it or not we all make mistakes in our lives. The beauty of life is that it gives us a new day to celebrate and be happy with. It give us something to hope for.

I’ve thought about you a lot since I’ve been down here. I’m slowly making my decisions in my head.

Rock

Mon, 22 Feb 2010 19:23:07 -0500

Right now I feel like a rock. Stubborn and hard headed. Still and steady, but destined to be chiseled into something greater. But I’m stuck as this rock until that tool of change comes to make me into that great something.

"If you are going to fall in love with me, it’s only fair that you know what you are falling in love..."

Tue, 09 Feb 2010 01:59:23 -0500

“

If you are going to fall in love with me, it’s only fair that you know what you are falling in love with.

You are falling in love with my insecurities, and my obsession with trying to figure out what everyone thinks of me. You are falling love with my immaturity, my constant need to feel loved and appreciated, my overactive tear ducts, my internet obsession, my tendency to be too clingy. You fall in love with my troubled past, and my hopes and dreams, and how I’m a hopeless romantic at heart. If you fall in love with me, you fall in love with my self-hate and all my imperfections and my perception that nobody could ever love me.

But, you are also falling in love with the way my eyes will smile when I’m with you, the way I’ll text you in the mornings just telling you I hope you have a great day. You’re falling in love with the occasionally humorous and/or thought-provoking things I say, and the way I blush when people ask me about you. But to me, the most important thing will be that you are falling in love with me, despite my thinking that it is impossible.

”

- Unknown (via kidlovesdoodles) (via —helen) (via rosaannne)

Turning back the clock.

Mon, 08 Feb 2010 05:40:34 -0500

Sometimes I wonder if time just wants me to remember a time when everything was insane to test my sanity. Sometimes I think its a mind game to feel the same way I did a few years ago to make me think something is wrong with me. My interpretation of what is going on is simple to me and only me. Things are catching up with me and I can’t control it. I feel helpless to the direction I am heading once again. Its an unwilling willingness to go back to my safe place. My safe place all on my own.

"The only people worth having in life are the one that consider you worth having in theirs."

Tue, 26 Jan 2010 22:43:38 -0500

“The only people worth having in life are the one that consider you worth having in theirs.”

- You know I wonder day by day if this quote is true. The ones that take the time out of their day to appreciate your existence and to go out of their way to say I’m happy to have you. Those are the people you love. Those are the ones worth keeping. What about the ones who others believe are worth fighting for? The ones who deemed the one fighting not worth dealing with anymore. The ones left behind in the fight of just being able to stay in someone’s mind and think about. I think about a lot of people that go in and out of my life. The ones that make that attempt and the ones that no longer do. It’s sad this fallout. I mean there are people in this life that I felt were worth the effort, that I knew were worth it.

As a side note, make the people that you feel are in your life for a reason feel as special as they are to you.

I took this trip down memory lane a while ago and it made me think about all the things I must work on and the things that continuously bring me down. The internal self worth meter has a tendency to fade as I drift in the masses. Statistically a number that got into UCLA and one with no impact on the life I see around me. I am a number. No longer an individual with any long lasting impression I must leave on this world. I know I will be more than that. I am destined for something, but what?

I'd Like a Challenge.

Tue, 26 Jan 2010 22:26:04 -0500

I'd Like a Challenge.

Thank you.

Thu, 21 Jan 2010 16:30:22 -0500

Thank you for trying. I feel a lot better now about a lot of things. I’m so glad I found you. Yeah. :)

(via thesweetnothing) This is true. I wish everything made sense...

Thu, 21 Jan 2010 16:21:35 -0500

(via thesweetnothing)

This is true. I wish everything made sense again.

Shoulders that bear burdens.

Thu, 14 Jan 2010 02:13:51 -0500

To you:

Honestly, there are things in life you never thought that would happen to you. Things you can’t control, things you can’t explain, and things you can are the components of life that just have to be.

Regret.

I’ve said before not to regret things in your life that you can no longer control. This is still true, but I do believe it does help us become better people. I want to change for you all. I miss you guys so much and with events like these I can’t help but say I do regret. I do wish I could go back and make things better, stick a band aid on you and hold you forever so nothing bad could ever happen.

Truth.

The truth may set you free or be a constant reminder of your mistakes. You screwed up, big time. The truth is not always good. The truth is something that not everyone wants to know or sometimes even needs to know.

Sadness.

My heart weeps for us all as we continue through this terrible ordeal. I will never forget this. This is a tough time for us all and I know just how much it hurts. I can’t imagine what you’re going through my dears. Just know I’m here as a shoulder for you all to cry on.

Strength.

You have all been strong inside. You have made it this far and you all have that strength to make it through this as well. If you feel weak, lean on me. I will help make you strong again and push you through. It may take a while but we can do this.

Love.

Know that I love you guys with all my heart and nothing will ever change that. You have a special place in my heart and I will always take care of you should you ever need me, okay?

Hope.

The world needs people to hope for them even when they can’t hope themselves. I know I was here to help people. I know I’m here to hope for better things for all of us involved.

Forgiveness.

No matter how angry you are at a person, no matter how much they have hurt you, you need to forgive them. It takes a better person to forgive because everyone makes mistakes. Everyone has their times of weakness and wrongdoings.

We have broken a barrier that I have never seen us tread on. We bear secrets and we need to trust one another with things we never thought we could. We have to hang on to the people we hold dear in our lives and trust them to do the same. Hope for the best and pray for those in need. We have been through so much and gotten through. We must bear that burden together. I love you guys. Please be safe and I trust in you my life, my soul, my everything. I have always worked for you and I will continue to do so.

Love Always,

Bri

There's something on my mind.

Mon, 11 Jan 2010 18:59:13 -0500

Everything.

Plan of attack:

1. Divide and conquer! Bwahahaha.

2. Chemistry homework! Dedicating time to do it in moderation. I will not fall behind.

3. Take a look at the AP Calculus book again, even if its just for 30 min. Do it at least once a day.

4. READ! I haven’t had the time to really do so, but I’ll make time. Enjoy the little things.

5. Keep organization up. Bed is always made. Binders organized.

6. I am so happy I have Gruff right now. He makes me feel more at home.

7. I hope I’m not getting my hopes up for nothing. I’m gonna have a full inbox again watch. XP

8. I’m so sleepy but I can’t manage to go to sleep. Dang insomnia.

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go...."

Sun, 10 Jan 2010 12:13:22 -0500

“I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they’re right. You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”

- Marilyn Monroe (via littlemiss)

Mind stop. please.

Sat, 09 Jan 2010 13:46:00 -0500

There are just times in life that I just figure we have to do a long introspection and try to figure out what we wanna do for the day, the month, or the rest of our lives. It’s honestly one big confusing thing where we have to take it day by day. I have many things to be thankful for, while I have things I would like to improve. I’ve tried my best not to think about the things that bother me most and to look at everything from a good perspective. It’s unavoidable. This pain we feel when things just aren’t working the way you would like or if you just think for a moment everything is going not the way I planned. I know I am a plan-it-out person. I used to have my life on a clipboard ready for me to face the world as I wanted to lay it out. Then I remember circumstances change things. They change the way we think and the way we look at everything. That constant change makes us think something new about our desires and our needs.

-I want you to try. Just a little more. It’s hard for me to accept, but I’ve had this happen to me before. The fallout. If you really care about me, just do something about it so I don’t have to keep thinking that you don’t.

-A call, a flower from a garden, a letter, a piece of paper with a drawing on it, a text even. Even chocolate, which I don’t eat would make me happy? Simple right? I honestly don’t know if I ask for too much.

-I’m working harder this quarter and I refuse to fail. I refuse.

I'll get over it

Wed, 30 Dec 2009 03:46:54 -0500

Please stop all the dramatics and figure it out. I’ve tried my best to help but it’s honestly up to you to fix whats going on. I’m getting really tired.

Finals

Fri, 04 Dec 2009 12:47:46 -0500

Go die. :)

mmkay thats all! <3

Bittersweet.

Thu, 17 Sep 2009 03:19:00 -0400

So I guess I’m finally coming the the realization that High School has ended…College is here and is going to come at me with all it’s got. I cant help but feel scared out of my mind. The only reason I feel like that is because I don’t understand this. It’s new and that has always scared me. I feel like I’m ready, but I’m not. Inside there are two voices- One that tells me this is what I have worked for my entire life to get to this moment right now. The other is telling me that I will fail miserably and settle for less. I can’t help but have two voices always echoing in my head. Sadly, a misperception that many have is that I’m always someone that is happy, optimistic, and someone that will stay that way. The reality is that I’m human too. With my optimistic attutude comes one that will always tend to motivate me but hurt me all at the same time. My internal self has a self-destructive side. One that if I was to hurt enough, would overcome my entire life. Its done it once and wreaked havoc on my once young and impressionable self. But who’s to say it wont happen again. I need to have that other voice echoing louder than the other because only I can do it. I’m stubborn. Always have been. I do the opposite when one tells me not to. I guess it runs in my blood. But I can’t let that side of me get in my way. I have always told myself I have a goal achieve it. Now I know my goal. Self driven, Self cared for, Self destructive. When I went to lunch, I couldn’t help but see the same qualities in myself :(

I need this to convince myself that I can do this. Only I will be able to turn this around. Only I can really do this on my own. I will take care of myself, others, and be who I want to be along the way. A good person, with heart and perseverance with the courage to keep going. Of course, I may get lost sometimes, but I just have to always find my way back. I can and I will says voice one. I believe it too.

I know who I am and I’m only sad that you don’t know who you are. You play it off as if you do and sadly I just look at you and know that you are just as lost as many other people in this world. Please don’t take it out on me. I have only tried to help you. I have only tried to tell you what I think is best. Isn’t that what friends do? I guess youre done with me too. It’s okay, I’ll always be here if you need me, but I’m just sad I can no longer say the same on your part. I honestly don’t know what I did other than care and be who I always have been, and I’m sorry if that bothers you now.

Fire.

Thu, 17 Sep 2009 02:33:13 -0400

littlemiss:

aliehs:

Sometimes, other people’s problems stress me out. Do you think that’s weird? I mean, it hurts me when I see the ones I love hurt and/or struggle. Wouldn’t you feel the same way? I don’t know. I guess I feel helpless and it frustrates me. Sometimes I don’t know when to step in or interfere. Or I question myself if I should even interfere or even care so much in the first place. Is it any of my business? When is it my business? Never? Do I just turn the other cheek and let them continue their self destructive ways and bad behavior? Do I wait until something tragic happens? I mean, when is it okay to step in and say “hey, you’re not okay. don’t do this, don’t do that. you need help. talk to me. i am here for you. why are you doing this to yourself? why are you being this way?” Sometimes I don’t want to interfere at all. But then that makes me feel guilty because it’s as if I’m just standing there, watching them destroy themselves all the while I should be doing something. Or saying something. I do believe no one can save you but yourself. But I also know it doesn’t hurt having people there beside you, helping you along the way. Helping you find your way back to yourself, to what matters, to gaining control of your life, to being happy again. You can’t do it alone, I know that for sure. And I know, I know, I know, I knowwww- everything is easier said than done. I suppose it’s necessary to let people do their own thing. Sometimes people have to make big mistakes more than once before finally learning how wrong and bad that mistake is. It’s frustrating, but what can you do? I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again- People will do whatever they want regardless of what you say and do. It is up to them, not you. It is their life, not yours. That’s kind of hard for me to grasp at times… But I’m slowly letting it sink in. I just hate watching people go down a bad road and feeling like I can’t do one stinkin’ thing about it. But, people make mistakes. We all make mistakes. All the time. Every day. It’s how we learn. It’s how we grow. But for some people, they have to make a lot of mistakes- big ones, to finally see clearly. When I see people I love struggle or hear of their problems, I always hope they find their way through it. I know that they can, even if it may take awhile… I still know that they can. They just have to believe and work hard at it. They also must remember that they are never alone, that their loved ones will always be there for them to help them, guide them, and just support them in any way that they can. Because, when you forget that you are loved, even for the slightest moment, your world will feel like hell on earth. It will be unbearable and you will get lost in a dark world. A world that may feel almost impossible to get out of. So, if ever, you feel weak, alone, stressed, frightened, always remember that you are loved and think positively. Because when you get to that point of always being negative, trust me, it will be harder for you to deal with things. And once that happens, all the stress seems to build up and it never seems to stop. I’m totally rambling and getting off topic… But basically, I just wanted to point out that I feel your pain. What hurts you, hurts me. I only hope that in your darkest times, you will be able to see your way out. And if you ever need a hand to help you out, I am always here.

OMG….I can seriously relate. I couldn’t have said it better myself. Its refreshing to know I’m not the only one out there that is frustrated by these things.

Great Lessons of Life:

Thu, 17 Sep 2009 02:28:52 -0400

littlemiss:

When someone lies to you, it teaches you that things are not always what they seem. The truth is often far beneath the surface. Look beyond the masks people wear if you want to know what is in their hearts. Remove your own masks to let people know who you really are.

When someone steals from you it teaches you that nothing is forever. Always appreciate what you have. You never know when you might lose it. Never take your friends or family for granted, because today and sometimes only this very moment is the only guarantee you may have.

When someone inflicts injury upon you, it teaches you that the human state is a very fragile one. Protect and take care of your body as best as you can, it’s the one thing that you are sure to have forever.

When someone mocks you, it teaches you that no two people are alike. When you encounter people who are different from you, do not judge them by how they look or act, instead base it on the contents of what is in their hearts.

When someone breaks your heart, it teaches you that loving someone does not always mean that the person will love you back. But don’t turn your back on love, because when you find the right person, the joy that one person brings you will make up for all of your past hurts. Times a thousand fold.

When someone holds a grudge against you, it teaches you that everyone makes mistakes. When you are wronged, the most virtuous thing you can do is forgive the offender without pretense. Forgiving those who have hurt us is often the most difficult and painful of life’s experiences, but it is also the most courageous thing a person can do.

When a loved one is unfaithful to you, it teaches you that resisting temptation is man’s greatest challenge. Be vigilant in your resistance against all temptations. By doing so, you will be rewarded with an enduring sense of satisfaction far greater than the temporary pleasure by which you were tempted.

When someone cheats you, it teaches you that greed is the root of all evil. Aspire to make your dreams come true, no matter how lofty they may be. Do not feel guilty about your success, but never let an obsession with achieving your goals lead you to engage in malevolent activities.

When someone ridicules you, it teaches you that nobody is perfect. Accept people for their merits and be tolerant of their flaws. Do not ever reject someone for imperfections over which they have no control.

When someone loves us, it teaches us love, kindness, charity, honesty, humility, forgiveness, acceptance, and all of these can counteract all the evil in the world. For every good deed, there is one evil deed. Man alone has the power to control the balance between good and evil, but because the lessons of love are not taught often enough, the power is too often abused.

When you enter someone’s life, whether by plan, chance or coincidence, consider what your lesson will be. Will you teach love or a harsh lesson of reality? When you die, will your life have resulted in more loving or more hurting? More comfort or more pain? More joy or more sadness? Each one of us has the power over the balance of the love in the world. Use it wisely!

The Complete Life's Little Instuction Book.

Tue, 08 Sep 2009 20:03:07 -0400

littlemiss:

Do battle against prejudice and discrimination wherever you find it.

Be romantic.

Let people know what you stand for and what you won’t stand for.

Be insatiably curious. Ask “why” a lot.

Measure people by the size of their hearts, not the size of their bank accounts.

Don’t forget, a person’s greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated.

Don’t waste time grieving over past mistakes. Learn from them and move on.

Keep your promises.

Seek out the good in people.

Take good care of those you love.

I liked this.

"It’s good that your self-motivated. You put fire under your butt and don’t need anyone..."

Tue, 08 Sep 2009 19:47:57 -0400

“It’s good that your self-motivated. You put fire under your butt and don’t need anyone to do it for you. You made it this far, I know you’ll be fine.”

- Bento and Noodle 09/08/09 A.Nette

Random thoughts.

Tue, 08 Sep 2009 19:45:42 -0400

What is sad is that I allow you to enter my mind with doubt and confusion when I feel like I’ve got it all right. You hit me with questions I myself can’t answer because I cannot find that answer in anyone else or don’t want to. Whether it be from the insecurities life brings me or anything that hits me in the heart, you know just what to say to make me question all my decisions. I hate it. Stop but dont stop.

I’m sorry this had to happen. I’m sorry you couldn’t tell me. I’m sorry that I couldn’t be there to help any of the situations that occurred. Ultimately, I feel like it was all my fault. I feel like a failure and that you were the one that told me that. Whenever I think about it, I wanted to ask you every question that popped up in my mind and just be open like we’ve always been and still have that connection we did before. But considering the circumstances, I can no longer think the same way. I can’t go back to that time. I can’t trust you the same way. I miss you, and I’m sad everything ended the way it did.

Thinking can be a very difficult, yet neccessary process. I think too much about everything. Though slow with recent events, I think of everything and relate it to the past. History is my forte. I know how to analyze the events that currently occur from then and learn from then. I can’t help it. I’m slow cause my mind is elsewhere for the most part. Thinking about other things…….

It was nice having lunch with you. I couldn’t have thought of a better person to learn from. I wish I could help you though. I wish I could do more for you. College scares me and you made it that much easier to think about. It’s something that has weighed on my mind for a while. My insecurities about all of it just unloaded on you. in one lunch. Thank you for everything :) I’ll keep in touch for sure.

I’m writing back soon promise. :) I know Ill be homesick too.

Stay waaanderfulll. You’ve been wonderful and I’m lucky to have you. :D

I really know youll be okay (: You are a strong and wonderful young woman that I know can overcome this obstacle. Be the kind and caring person you have always been and people will continue to surround you with that same compassion you show.