Random thoughts.
What is sad is that I allow you to enter my mind with doubt and confusion when I feel like I’ve got it all right. You hit me with questions I myself can’t answer because I cannot find that answer in anyone else or don’t want to. Whether it be from the insecurities life brings me or anything that hits me in the heart, you know just what to say to make me question all my decisions. I hate it. Stop but dont stop.
I’m sorry this had to happen. I’m sorry you couldn’t tell me. I’m sorry that I couldn’t be there to help any of the situations that occurred. Ultimately, I feel like it was all my fault. I feel like a failure and that you were the one that told me that. Whenever I think about it, I wanted to ask you every question that popped up in my mind and just be open like we’ve always been and still have that connection we did before. But considering the circumstances, I can no longer think the same way. I can’t go back to that time. I can’t trust you the same way. I miss you, and I’m sad everything ended the way it did.
Thinking can be a very difficult, yet neccessary process. I think too much about everything. Though slow with recent events, I think of everything and relate it to the past. History is my forte. I know how to analyze the events that currently occur from then and learn from then. I can’t help it. I’m slow cause my mind is elsewhere for the most part. Thinking about other things…….
It was nice having lunch with you. I couldn’t have thought of a better person to learn from. I wish I could help you though. I wish I could do more for you. College scares me and you made it that much easier to think about. It’s something that has weighed on my mind for a while. My insecurities about all of it just unloaded on you. in one lunch. Thank you for everything :) I’ll keep in touch for sure.
I’m writing back soon promise. :) I know Ill be homesick too.
Stay waaanderfulll. You’ve been wonderful and I’m lucky to have you. :D
I really know youll be okay (: You are a strong and wonderful young woman that I know can overcome this obstacle. Be the kind and caring person you have always been and people will continue to surround you with that same compassion you show.
